Friday, 30th December 2011

Lets be honest now shall we, this blog is now only a surviving piece of memory throughout the years. Yeah sure there are pictures and everything but i dunno, its different.

I spent the last hour or 2 or 3 haha browsing through my old posts in this blog. Truly, maturity has kicked in over the years. To be reading all those posts from years back, I cant believe it was actually me who actually wrote all those. At one point, I was absolutely sure I was hacked but the details written made me sure than it was undeniably, yours truly. :)

True, blogspot is really yesteryear but Im glad I made this blog. I've never had a diary or some sort of it so this blog exists as a written memories throughout my life. And the best part is, although how lame or funny the posts is, at one point of time in the past, it was actually YOU who wrote everything. haha so accept it! :)

Maturity has clearly kicked in me. To be honest, I miss the old 15 year old carefree me who started this blog out of sheer boredom due to fever. Bcos that guy's most highest worry would be: "All the homeworks due to my fever will kill me" and after 5 minutes it'll be : "oh well, fuck it!" Hahaha... But now, my whole future is laid in front of me for me to think: what degree should i take, would it be good career wise, is it gonna be worth it etc etc....

As you grow older, yeah, heavier responsibilities is laid upon you and you have to be very sensible in making your choices as it may affect your future. Deep inside, actually you're just a child, gambling to make big choices which you hope to be good for you.

Oh well.

OH! I just noticed from my past posts. Its all mostly been about girls haven't they? HAHA LOVE mannn, its what it does to ya.

LOVE. haha I'd rather look at it as a funny word. It can melt even the coldest person there ever is. Bcos of love, I have typed some of the most hillarious post there ever is in this blog. But at that point, that all seem so appropriate. I have used words that I wouldn't ever use in real life. Browsing through this blog have made me found these really unorthodox words! :

-divine intervention
-fate
-miracle
-overwhelm
-lucky
-defy gravity
-the right one
-risk
-eternity

AHAHAHAHAHA kill words that totally indicate your balls have melted due to love.

I did think damn, I should put down or just remove all these damn lame-ass posts but as my best friend once said to me "Its good to have it there, it serves as a reality check for you" I guess she's right. As she always is.

Honestly, I haven't really been a goodie yeah. Probably all the heartbreaks poured on lamely in this very blog was all well-deserved which at one point seemed very "unfair". :P I strongly believe in karma so yeah, there's nothing that you do that you dont deserve, even the bad things. Be sorry for what you've done wrong, but never regret it because at one point, it was exactly what you wanted.

I wouldn't say Im a better person now, Im still learning but Im definitely a better person than who I was.

Its almost the end of another year, I could say 2011 was a tough one but then again, nothing's ever to easy ey. im ending the year where I've finished my A-levels awaiting my results, a job that is reasonably rewarding, nieces and a nephew whom I love to bits, best physical shape I've been in years, great friends around, happy family, much closer to my best friend and also yeah, someone that usually appears in my wild dreams as a girlfriend. It wasn't such an easy journey this year but thankfully, all is good now. Thank god.

I really dont know how many are actually reading this blog or rather to say is there really anyone who visits this blog but I dont mind. Its just my personal space for thoughts anyway. The lesser people who know, the better. And besides, those who has this link or rather still remember it and visit are probably ones that i hold on to dearly so its okay. I appreciate it.

Really sorry if any of these dont make sense though. Thanks to kev, Im typing all these after a third glass of whiskey so all these might not make sense or sounds a bit cerebral.

All in. Thanks 2011. Its been great. Hope everything goes well for me and for everyone else in 2012.

Much love,
Firdaus Ruslan