lament

Believe it or not, I have wanted to lament for a long time but never actually had the chance.
Yeah, I'm that preoccupied.
Today I managed to come home early, although eyes were shut, I was lamenting.

It's not fair that only I have this feeling
Stuck in this situation
No where to go
It's too complicated that I'm afraid to even open up
So I stay closed
Trying to find answers on why am i stuck here
Until i asked myself "What have I done wrong?"

I got all the answers after that
Damn it....
I shouldn't have
I shouldn't have
I shouldn't have
I shouldn't have
I knew that all my wrongdoings won't go unpunished
Little did i know that this is the punishment

What can i do to make it all better?
I really can't stand it anymore
You shoud've told me you were gonna do this to me when i first saw you
Now its all coming back to me

I've feelings with someone I know I'm not supposed to
And I've got so close to the point of there's no turning back
Exit doors are shut
I'm banging on it to break it open
But it won't
Stay close and I'll suffer every second spent acknowledging the truth
And the truth? Is that nothing will happen
Stay away and I'll suffer to see her alone
Stay away and I'll suffer to....
not answering her calls
not answering her texts
avoid her eyes
avoid bumping into her
How am I suppose to do all that when the first thing in mind when i wake up is her?
So what should i do????
Either choice ends up with me suffering


You know you're in love when...
-you expect her on your phone every time it rings
-you expect her on your phone when you receive a text
-you slip down the stairs staring at her
-you'd wake up early, study hard, ditch ur mates just for her
-you go crazy just for her attention
-your mind wonders on how beautiful she is when you talk to her
-She's the first thing on your mind when you wake up
-you mispelled some words to her name
-you keep spotting her name everywhere from tv producers, book authors, wedding invitations, billboards....and so on....

But I know that how much I lament
Nothing will change
Only maybe time will tell
While I stay here, no where to go, no where to hide
I have 9 months left to the ending of this
I wonder what will happen to me after that
Knowing she'll have someone new
Knowing I can't be looking forward to see her anymore
Knowing I won't be in her mind as how she will always be in mine....



Don't hurt others
Because the price is something that you can't pay although how strong you are.
Sorry.